America's Newest Source of Plentiful, Clean Energy? George Michael...

For the rest of the month, Blaiser will attempt to live his life in accordance to the wisdom of the ancients, as revealed in the lyrics of Careless Whisper by WHAM, (UK!), and as channeled by an Intehnet search engine.

For this digital tea-reading experiment, I'll identify the most psychically profound turn of phrase found in each stanza (identified in boldface, for your pleasure), punch it into the tricorder, and choose an image from the first page of results. The synergy produced by unleashing two central elements of my life into the ether (Boolean searches and 8th-grade angst...) will either lead us to cold fusion, or will cause the British Music Rights building on Berners Street in London to implode into a TARDIS, just like people thought would happen to our entire planet when they fired up the 17-mile-long Hadron Particle Motor Speedway. If it's the TARDIS, the Brits will be ethically compelled to turn it over to the Audubon Society to make up for the boneheads at BP. Either way, our energy problems are solved.

In order to join the psychically-aware array of BlaiserBlog readers, and to harness the maximum milliamps available from your feeble minds desktop PCs*, please hit Play on the accompanying audio-visual aid while you scroll through the word-defying lyrics below. I think you'll like the results.



I feel so unsure

As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor

As the music dies, something in your eyes

Calls to mind a silver screen and all those sad goodbyes

I'm never gonna dance again

Cause guilty feet have got no rhythm

Though it's easy to pretend

I know you're not a fool

I should have known better than to cheat a friend

And waste the chance that I'd been given

So I'm never gonna dance again

The way I danced with you

Time can never mend

The careless whispers of a good friend

To the heart and mind

Ignorance is kind

And there's no comfort in the truth

Pain is all you'll find

I'm never gonna dance again

Cause guilty feet have got no rhythm

Though it's easy to pretend

I know you're not a fool

I should have known better than to cheat a friend

And waste the chance that I'd been given

So I'm never gonna dance again

The way I danced with you

Tonight the music seems so loud

I wish that we could lose the crowd

Maybe it's better this way

We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say

We could have been so good together

We could have lived this dance forever

But now who's gonna dance with me?

Please stay

I'm never gonna dance again

Cause guilty feet have got no rhythm

Though it's easy to pretend

I know you're not a fool

I should have known better than to cheat a friend

And waste the chance that I'd been given

So I'm never gonna dance again

The way I danced with you

 Now, if my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour....

Thanks for reading, and please remember that your oil executives aren't allowed near open water unless they can do 15 lengths in an oil-filled Olympic-sized pool, in business attire, but without their WaterWings. Train Accordingly....

* BlaiserBlog does not support Apple products...